I certainly do, in fact I cried a bit
recently as it seems I’m still grieving for the loss of my
relationships with Kelly and her daughter Mari, I cried for around 5
minutes letting out the feelings out into the open although only the
two cats in my flat were there to see it, the female one rushing upto
me to try and comfort me, bless her.
The culture of the UK is a bizarre one
when it comes to teaching the expressing of emotions, females are
allowed to (in fact its expected I find, I’ve heard a few times
throughout my life about some being judged as “uncaring” or
“summat wrong with her” if they don't) males on the other hand
showing their feelings is supposed to be a sign of weakness and being
unmanly.
Now as human beings we are emotional
creatures, its not intellect that drives us, intellect is merely a
tool for defining and refining our feelings and experiences whether
your male or female.
“A real man is strong A real man
doesn't cry, doesn't moan, doesn't complain, A real man is macho; a
real man is tough; a real man doesn't show emotions. A real man is
the backbone of his family and doesn't have time to be weak, big boys
don't cry“
Just some of the things that supposedly
define what a “real man” is according to some people. I've come
to the conclusion that the real reason some subscribe to this is
because its easier than actually having to deal with the why of a
situation as well as listening to the upsetting sound of someone
crying because they are in pain.
Its the same when people respond with
“pull yourself together, stop feeling sorry for yourself, there are
others worse off than you” etc. etc. Dealing with our and others
expressions of emotions can be fraught with difficulty and so its
easier to simply dismiss or trivialise these expressions instead of
making the effort to understand.
I have come across the claim the female
brain is wired differently and this is why they express their
emotions more than males, assuming this is true (I’m not convinced
myself but I will at some point check it out for clarification) then
there is a fatal flaw with the claim...males have the capacity to
express how they are feeling and they can cry as well, now maybe
females in general due to how their brains are wired and cultural
expectations do express how they are feeling and cry more often (at
least publicly, I imagine many males out there cry behind closed
doors). Besides our biology only forms the fundamental basis of our
existence, it certainly cannot account for our behaviour alone.
The truth is incontrovertible,
malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there
it is Winston Churchill.
The truth is males can and do cry,
crying is not a sign of weakness, it is not a insincere plea for
attention, all it is is someone who is in pain and distress and this
a response to those emotional states, crying is a truthful act of how
we feel at that moment (and how we may have felt for some time).
Others saying that a male shouldn't cry
because he is male, well that’s their mistake/ignorance which is
their problem no one else's and is not a reason for those in emotional turmoil to have to hide how they feel.
19th May the journey continues.